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Politicians think travelling on the tube makes them appear like ordinary members of the public.
Instead, they just look sillyMastery of the London underground - now an established and almost literal rite of passage for modern politicians - is the UK equivalent of the proclamation of belief in Jesus Christ for those seeking high office in the US.Here David Cameron, on his trip from Westminster to the O2 arena on the Jubilee line (which, one suspects, he and most of his ilk had hitherto believed was established as their own private escape chute come the revolution), is effectively saying, "I believe in the Oyster card! I have not been sure all my life that it exists, but I know it plays an important part in many people's lives and brings them a great deal of comfort.
Or if not comfort, at least convenience and an effective discount rate on metropolitan travel."The great thing about the political tube ride is that politicians of any stripe look equally ridiculous doing it.
Tony Blair's "man of the people" vibe was never more strained than when he was actually sitting near some.
Cameron, with his polished shoes, pristine white shirt and perfect poppy, looks like a waxwork exhibit who has just been airlifted into position, rather than a man required to fight his way through crowded streets, platforms and turnstiles as the plebs do.
Why they didn't just prop him up by the door in a glass case labelled "Unpack in rarefied atmosphere only" I don't know.As for snaps of Boris on the tube - well, one can only suppose he is looking around in bewildered awe that all those stories he'd been told about an underground city peopled with grey-faced humanoids are true.Ken Livingstone was the only one who didn't look uncomfortable on the tube, but this was offset by the evident discomfort of those around him - arising from the inescapable fact that a smirking man with a moustache and a mac in an enclosed space is automatically deemed by co-travellers to be on at least three police registers until proven otherwise.It is when you look at the co-travellers that you realise that these efforts at ingratiation always end in dismal failure.
Every politician is granted precisely the same measures of politeness and hostility that tube passengers have made their own.
No eye contact.
No encouragement to conversation.
iPods, magazines, careful engrossment in conversation with a friend - all are weapons deployed in the fight against connection.
It is British society in microcosm.
And perhaps this is the true value of the political tube trip.
Not to remind the public that They are just like Us, but to remind Them that We mostly don't give a crap either way.
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