Conner O'Malley is the internet's unlikely oracle. And its most deranged comedian.

If you squint your eyes, or maybe you're three beers deep, it's the metaverse. There's some self-important maniac preaching that the body is the past, the future is digital recreation where we all exist through cheesy avatars.

"I'm talking about a place that is not a website," our protagonist says. "It's NOT a website. It's a...