In a viral Twitter thread, British-Arab writer Anbara Salam outlined the circumstances that caused her spa experience to be less than ideal.
"10ish years ago, my ex bf and I visited a spa in Germany.
It’s swimsuits in the pool but you have to be naked in the sauna.
Btw I speak no German".
"I get undressed, grab a lil towel and go off to the sauna.
There are 2 unmarked doors at the end of a corridor, I take a guess and go through the one on the left".
"It’s not the door to the sauna.
It’s the fire escape.
The door locks behind me.
I am trapped inside the fire escape, in the nip".
"Fully crying, I run downstairs, trying to work out which part of me I should cover with the lil towel — my face?
A single buttock".
"On the ground floor there’s an unlocked door ... it’s a terrifying machine room with massive fans & pumps & ‘electrocution’ symbols on everything".
"I spot a service lift.
Out of sheer panic, I run into the lift, covering each boob in turn, mashing the buttons".
"Eventually the lift doors open.
A spa employee stands there.
He says something in German, I cry, he sighs, waves for me to follow him".
"Apparently the only way out of the fire escape is to fully LEAVE THE BUILDING.
The only way back in is along the street, THROUGH RECEPTION".
"I now have an out of body experience.
A shame black out.
I have reached my max".
"Reception is BUSY.
So busy he has to yell at ppl to make way so I can get through the crowd.
The guy explains (I’m guessing) the situ[ation] to the receptionist".
"Ten minutes later when I run sobbing into a towel and find my bf in the café he has the AUDACITY to be grumpy because he’s been waiting for an hour".
Though Salam’s experience was mortifying, she seems to be happy about the fact that people are deriving joy from it