Kimmel Makes an Apt Army Recruitment Ad After Ted Cruz’s ‘Emasculated’ Complaint (Video)

Texas Senator Ted Cruz once again opened himself up to massive ridicule late last week when he gushed over Russian military propaganda and then complained that U.S. armed forces are “emasculated.” And on Monday, Jimmy Kimmel had the perfect response with a recruitment poster inspired by one of Cruz’ most pathetic recent moments.

So briefly, last week Cruz retweeted a side by side comparison of a Russian military recruitment ad and a recent U.S. Army ad highlighting the real life story of Cpl. Emma Malonelord, who was raised by two mothers, graduated at the top of her high school class and then enlisted. Most people find that story inspiring, but not Cruz, who said “Holy crap. Perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea.”

Cruz, who it should be noted never served in the military, realized he stepped in it and some time later attempted to undo the damage with a claim that what he actually loves the U.S. military and what he meant was that “Democrats” are trying to emasculate it. And while his original tweet didn’t contain any such clarification, and Cruz clearly seemed to be describing the current state of the military as “emasculated” and inferior to Russia’s, we have no idea if that subsequent explanation is true or false.

However it’s worth remembering that Cruz has a history of telling laughably provable falsehoods, like the time he tried to sneak out of Texas for a vacation in Cancun while Texas was battered by a devastating winter storm, then told several lies, including attempting to blame the debacle on his daughters.

Anyway, back to Kimmel, who in his monologue on Monday’s episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” broke down the whole thing for his audience.

“Ted Cruz, who four years ago took permanent residence up the ass of a man who beat him in every election by calling his wife ugly and slandering his elderly father – says this is emasculating,” Kimmel joked. “Primarily because Ted Cruz is not human – he’s a moist, gelatinous tubeworm whose elastic band pants are filled with an inky discharge every time he speaks.”

“Maybe this would be more Ted’s speed,” Kimmel continued, displaying this onscreen:

“Army. Be All You Cancun Be. Right?” Kimmel continued. “I’ll tell you something, for a guy named Ted, he gives the worst talks.”

Watch the whole monologue above. The Ted Cruz mockery begins approximately 4 minutes and 45 seconds in.

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