Dear Abby: Girlfriend maintains a 'fan club' on Facebook

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating the same woman for more than two years. She is a beautiful lady who has quite a few male "fans" on Facebook, mostly from before we met. What bothers me, and I don't understand why, is her habit of posting selfies and then loving the comments from other men about her looks. We have discussed this many times, but she can't seem to stop.

Other than this, we seem to have a healthy relationship with the occasional, normal hiccups. I would like to take it to the next level, but I can't help wondering if the Facebook habit is a sign that she needs more than what our relationship is giving her. Please advise. -- HESITANT IN OHIO

DEAR HESITANT: Her Facebook habit may be a sign that your lady friend is insecure -- or conceited -- about her looks, which is why she encourages these "fans" by "hearting" their comments. Frankly, it's sad that she needs more validation than she can get from one person, but that's the woman you're involved with. If she were seeing these men in the real world, I would say you have a serious problem. But she's not, so it shouldn't present a threat unless you make it one.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson, who I haven't seen in 10 years, is getting married to a girl I don't know. My husband, "Hank," and I are invited to the wedding. We live 1,000 miles away, so we have to book a flight, reserve a hotel and pay for all our meals.

Hank has been waiting the last three months for a date for knee surgery. Most of the time, he's in pain -- especially when he walks. My daughter thinks we should postpone his surgery to attend the wedding. What do you think? -- DEBATING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DEBATING: Of course your daughter wants her father at her son's wedding. That she would be disappointed -- as would the both of you -- is understandable. But does she really want him there limping, wincing and in constant pain? Remind her that it has taken three months to get this surgery calendared. Tell her you will be with them in spirit on their special day, but her father's health must come first. Then stick to your guns.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a small office of 15 people. The person next to me is diabetic and wears a beeper that goes off all day long. Am I supposed to endure this annoying sound even though she can put it on vibrate? -- DISTURBED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTURBED: No, you are not. Ask your co-worker if putting her beeper on vibrate would work for her, because the sound distracts you. If she's willing to do that, your problem is solved. However, if she isn't, then it may be time to discuss this with your supervisor or employer because it may be possible to relocate your workstation to another area.

Woman can't figure out why boyfriend won't move in

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for two years with a man I love very much. We're both in our early 20s. I have a house. He lives with his parents and is going to school.

Last year, after living together for a few months due to COVID, I invited him to move in with me. It took him five months to even give me an answer about whether he wanted to. It has now been eight months since he went back home to his parents. He says he "will" move in, but won't commit to giving me a date.

I have been blown off by him for his family multiple times, and I know it's not something that'll ever change. I'm wondering if we'll last, or if I should take a step back in the relationship. -- SEEING SIGNS IN MARYLAND

DEAR SEEING SIGNS: If your boyfriend wanted to live with you, he wouldn't have gone back to live with his parents. If he wanted more of your company, he wouldn't blow you off. Unless you are a masochist, this romance with him won't last, and you should DEFINITELY take a step back in the relationship, if not step OUT of it entirely.

DEAR ABBY: I am wondering how to handle finding a hair in your food or on your plate while eating at home, or even while eating at a friend's? I try to prevent it from happening by tugging gently at my hair, pulling out the loose ones and brushing off my sleeves and shoulders before I start cooking. However, once or twice a month, my husband finds one and complains about it, sometimes loudly. Of course I don't do it on purpose! It embarrasses me and makes me feel horrible and defensive.

Should he mention this, or let it pass? If we were at a friend's house, I know he wouldn't say anything, and I wouldn't either, for fear of causing embarrassment. -- SHEDDING IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SHEDDING: Finding a foreign object in one's food -- regardless of what it is, can make someone lose his or her appetite. Because it happens "regularly," consider preventing the problem as many professional chefs do while preparing food. Wear a hairnet, a scarf or a hat while cooking. Or, perhaps your husband should prepare his own meals.

DEAR ABBY: We are part of a close group of six couples who have a great time together. Although our political philosophies and worldviews are different, we always have adult and stimulating discussions. The problem is, one of the couples doesn't believe in the COVID vaccination. We'd like to have a BBQ, but only with those of us who have been vaccinated. Is there a way we can do this without hurting the feelings of that couple? -- READY TO SOCIALIZE, BUT ...

DEAR READY: It depends upon whether they feel the same way regarding wearing masks and social distancing. Diplomatically discuss your concerns with this couple. It would be better than excluding them and having them find out about it later.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.