Despite the fact that I like going to the movies, I won't be seeing Tenet or anything else in the theater any time soon

Over the next couple of weeks, new films will start rolling out in theaters in North America for the first time in five months (yes, I am wantonly disregarding the garbage exploitation film Unhinged, starring Russell Crowe, in this timeline). This means I should be going back to work as a film criti...