It's the 3rd anniversary of Dakota Johnson's birthday party, and we're all invited…except for you, Ellen!

"Actually, no – that's not the truth, Ellen."  

Have any words in recent memory been more deserving of their own monument? Sure, Greta Thunberg's "How dare you?" speech probably has its supporters. But if you ask me, what We The People really deserve is a ten-story tall sculpture of Dakota Johnson surrounded by Christmas...